You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
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It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
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I get a little bitchy. We all know that
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
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