Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
its liver damage thursday
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
