Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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