stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
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Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
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I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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