mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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