Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I hate all girls vehemently.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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