it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
