Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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