shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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