You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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