There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
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