what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
