Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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