Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
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We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
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I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Pooping to opera.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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