it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I party with great urgency now.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
