there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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