i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
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