And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
May the power of my ass compel you!!
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
