Already got asked if we're dating
Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
