In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
