i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
