I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
