My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i drank out of a bidet.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
