I wanna bring you to show and tell
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
