I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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