how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
babies were throwing up all over the place
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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