I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
