You work out of a Hotel?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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