are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
My friends, they love my intelligence
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
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So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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