haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
