Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
