It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
