i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
