You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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