do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
