Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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