I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
