I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
