I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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