I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
