Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
