this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
