He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
