At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
