She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Boobs are out for the taking
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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