doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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