why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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