Whoa Z and x make the same sound
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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