i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
