it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
