after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I want her autograph on my taint
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
