That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
