WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
