I got chris browned last night
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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