I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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